we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
