So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
