i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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