I must be too annoying 4 u.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
