hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
