so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
