God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
50% drunk capacity currently
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
