I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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