Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
