Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
