Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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