well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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