Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
