Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
