she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
