seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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