I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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