Define "chronic" masturbator.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
worst night to have a conscience
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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