I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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