I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
