No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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