One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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