So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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