I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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