He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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