i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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