I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
