foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
