I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
is wine microwaveable?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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