Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
