Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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