So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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