I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
