I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
