yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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