I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
