I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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