The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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