everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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