found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
