Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
