My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
