I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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