this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
