I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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