This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
