i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
