worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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