You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
