Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
