the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
