Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
