Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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