y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
His nipple licking is glorious
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