Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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