I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
my poor anus
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
