Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
