Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
