i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i believe in u and ur pee
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
