i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
