THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
