You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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