i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
