yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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