dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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