the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just google imaged poop.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize