i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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