can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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