I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
