Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
