ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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