I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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