Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize